11.18.2010

Can Facebook Ruin Your Marriage?

Every morning Rob and I watch HLN. Every now and then they have a very interesting story where they ask for the viewer's opinions. Today's story was about a pastor in New Jersey who urged the married couples in his congregation to delete their Facebook accounts because it could be putting their marriages in danger. 
I can't say that I totally blame Facebook for the demise of marriages and I can't say that they are totally to blame for unfaithfulness in marriages. What I can say, however, is that if a marriage is going through a low point, cruising through the Facebook pages of old boyfriends/girlfriends could lead to the temptation of beginning an affair (emotional and/or physical).
My own personal opinion is that when your marriage is good it isn't hard to remember why you're with your husband and why past is past. On the other hand, when your marriage is in the rocky stage it may not be so easy to remember why you married your husband and not some other man; It may be a lot easier to cloud your judgement about the reasons for breaking up with Bobby Joe or Mary Sue; It may be easier to excuse a little cyber flirting which may lead to much more concrete forms of an affair. 
Before I could say a married man or woman needs to delete their Facebook account, I would also need to add that it is a personal preference kind of thing. If you can be on Facebook and not feel the temptation to search for old "flames" or to contact them then you should have nothing to worry about. If you are able to see the past as the past and know that it's past for a reason, then you also should not worry. 
However, if you are going through a difficult point in your marriage and you would like nothing more than to receive attention from past flames then you should take a deep breath in and press the "Cancel Account" button. Old friends can just look you up in the phonebook. 
There is no friendship that is worth losing the trust in your marriage or putting your marriage at risk for failure. When you say "I do", you put everything else on the back burner (except of course your relationship with the Lord). Even when you are unhappy in your marriage, it remains the most important human relationship. Your commitment to your husband should not be dependent upon your "happiness", for happiness is a fleeting feeling. It is unreliable. It comes and goes with everything in life. This is something that we must always remember in our married lives.
Well, now that I have stated my opinion, I want to know what you think. Do you think that all married couples should delete their Facebook to steer clear of any possible temptation? Or do you think the deletion of Facebook accounts should only be considered when temptation presents itself?

1 comment:

  1. Very well said Doodle. With or without a Facebook account, if they are looking for something, they will find it. I would add that if you are secure in your marriage and your spouse is on FB, better check into it.

    ReplyDelete