The day started off as any other. 6:30 time to nurse, eat breakfast, and start the day. We conquered a typical refusal of whole milk and were actually on time to Little Gym. But just as the dreary day soaked the world outside, our good start quickly drowned in a river of whining, frustration, and stubbornness.
Lunch continued in tears over spaghetti squash and avocado and ended in the sacrifice of half my meal. In a moment of weakness, I posted to Facebook that I wished my child could speak so he could do something other than cry. As I should have anticipated, a well-meaning family member commented that one day when he can speak, I'll wish he couldn't.
I know she meant no harm and was trying to lighten the mood, but comments like this really drive me crazy - crazier on days when survival is my one goal. Was I encouraged by her statement? Not at all. As a matter of fact, it only frustrated me more.
Why are well-meaning people always reminding us of how it could be worse or, my favorite, how it one day will be worse? Does one-upping really help?
When you tell a pregnant woman to "get sleep while she can" does that open some magic savings account where she can withdraw sleep after she gives birth? Does telling a sleep-deprived mom to enjoy her babies needing her all night make yet another feeding session at 3 am suddenly turn into a warm and fuzzy, black and white Pampers commercial?
Whatever happened to real empathy? Whatever happened to comments like "I know these are hard times. How can I relieve some stress"?
Can we stop one-upping one another and start offering real help?
Realistically, we all know it could be and is worse for other people but more darkness does not lead to light in the trenches. Only light can lead to more light. Only positivity can lead to more positivity.
So let's stop offering passive opinions and start actually lifting up our fellow mom with an encouraging word and not a glum glimpse into an even more frustrating future.
And all new mamas said "Amen"!
