And All New Mamas said "Amen!"

The day started off as any other. 6:30 time to nurse, eat breakfast, and start the day. We conquered a typical refusal of whole milk and were actually on time to Little Gym. But just as the dreary day soaked the world outside, our good start quickly drowned in a river of whining, frustration, and stubbornness.
Lunch continued in tears over spaghetti squash and avocado and ended in the sacrifice of half my meal. In a moment of weakness, I posted to Facebook that I wished my child could speak so he could do something other than cry. As I should have anticipated, a well-meaning family member commented that one day when he can speak, I'll wish he couldn't.
I know she meant no harm and was trying to lighten the mood, but comments like this really drive me crazy - crazier on days when survival is my one goal. Was I encouraged by her statement? Not at all. As a matter of fact, it only frustrated me more.
Why are well-meaning people always reminding us of how it could be worse or, my favorite, how it one day will be worse? Does one-upping really help?
When you tell a pregnant woman to "get sleep while she can" does that open some magic savings account where she can withdraw sleep after she gives birth? Does telling a sleep-deprived mom to enjoy her babies needing her all night make yet another feeding session at 3 am suddenly turn into a warm and fuzzy, black and white Pampers commercial?
Whatever happened to real empathy?  Whatever happened to comments like "I know these are hard times. How can I relieve some stress"?
Can we stop one-upping one another and start offering real help?
Realistically, we all know it could be and is worse for other people but more darkness does not lead to light in the trenches. Only light can lead to more light. Only positivity can lead to more positivity.
So let's stop offering passive opinions and start actually lifting up our fellow mom with an encouraging word and not a glum glimpse into an even more frustrating future.
And all new mamas said "Amen"!

365

Two weeks ago my little guy turned one. ONE!
How did this happen?! Where did the time go?! I will never know. But one thing I do know, mommy-hood has taught me SO much. Since I'm too lazy to think of 365 lessons, I will stick with 12.
Here is my top 12 lists of lessons I have learned in my first year of being a mom. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

12. I am selfish. So incredibly selfish. I thought I learned this from marriage and I did, but only slightly.  Mommy-hood has taught me JUST how selfish I am, and it's a embarrassing. Sometimes my selfishness makes me shutter. Sometimes my selfishness is so ugly, I can't even face it.

11. Life is precious. Sometimes this lesson is overwhelming, other days it's not even a thought in my mind. The creation of life is astounding. The length of life is short. The strength of life is fragile. We can either build a life or tear it down, just by the words we say (or don't say).

10. I am an emotional person. This has not always been true. I used to make fun of my mom for being overly emotional...well...thanks to a little someone named Elijah, I am now a big bag of emotions. Anything like a movie or even commercial involving children (especially this darn Carter's commercial) and the tears pour like I'm watering a garden.

9. Being a mom is hard work. It demands discipline, energy, time, patience, and GRACE, so much grace!

8. Being a mom is a lot of fun. The goofier I am and the more fun I have, the more fun my son has, the more we bond.

7. Sometimes, the dishes, laundry, dust bunnies, etc. can wait. Sometimes...they can't.

6. A consistent bedtime is important for everyone, but not as important as extended snuggles, prayer/worship time, and kisses.

5. When people tell you that you "just have to experience it" when it comes to loving a child, just trust them. Loving a child trumps all other types of love. No one can ever explain how different it is from every other love in your life. You really just have to experience it.

4. Rough days/weeks happen, but it's usually nothing a glass of wine, some chocolate, and some sleep (even just a few hours) can't fix. You have to keep moving through those days and, eventually, you won't even remember what it felt like to be in the trenches.

3. Being a nag is exhausting and no fun! Postpartum me was like super serious and slightly crazy (although Rob might replace "slightly" with "very"). Sometimes that crazy lady creeps out but once I relax and stop being such a nag I find freedom to enjoy my family. A perfect schedule does not always equal a perfect day.

2. "Mom" is the most rewarding title I've ever had. Being a godly, uplifting wife is a great title, but it doesn't hold a candle to the "Mom" title.

1. God's love is infinitely stronger than I ever though possible. I never realized the strength of God's love for His children and the magnitude of His grace and patience until I had a child of my own, and I still don't fully get it. If I, a wretched sinner, can love E as much as I do, how much greater is the Father's love for me.

I have fully enjoyed the first year of my sweet boy's life and I am so looking forward to the rest of his years. Every day with him is exciting and he continues to get more and more fun. I am completely in love with being his mom, even through the tough times.

Balance: A rarity

When I reflect on today, the word "Balanced" comes to mind. It's been a long time since I've felt balance in my day, so when I feel it, I like to bask in it.The day didn't start off feeling very balanced - we slept in, Elijah ate half of a banana before I realized he hadn't nursed yet, etc. But as we got moving, everything just sort of fell into place.

I put away the mound of laundry accumulated over the weekend (and possibly the previous week), played with my sweet son, and laid down for a nap. While he slept, I, in perfect timing, got my beauty on and listened to some wonderfully powerful Mary Kay presentations. We ate a balanced lunch of sushi (for me) and turkey meat (for E) and proceeding on to a play date. 

I was really very excited about this play date. The mom and baby go to The Little Gym with us and her son is one month younger than Elijah. I was also excited because until today I was uncertain of her belief/relationship with God the Father. At the play date she revealed that she wasn't involved in any religion because she doesn't like that religions make you believe "one type of thing". She doesn't want to be told what to believe. I shared with her my heart and we also discussed her misunderstanding of the difference in the Old and New Testament God (hello last post!). She seems open but I think it will take some time. Anyway, a relationship has begun and I look forward to our next play date/MK facial next Thursday. 

No, it wasn't a perfectly laid out day and yes I still have housework to do, but I did all the things I set out to do. For me my accomplishments consist of spending time alone with The Lord, spreading His truth and love to others, loving and caring for my family, and sprinkling in some Mary Kay along the way.  

How do you seek and find balance in your daily life? What does balance look like to you? Please share your thoughts. I'd love to hear them.