The Joyous Mother

Perhaps it was the episode of "I'm having their baby" during nap time. 
Or maybe God's grace is more abundant today. 
Either way, today has been a good day for motherhood. 

Admittedly, probably more times than not, motherhood is difficult. Often times I try to convince myself it will get easier when he turns one, two, three, etc. Many times we wander through our day as I watch the clock until Daddy gets home. 

But today? Today was different. 

We didn't have a plan (aside from the typical) but our interaction was intentional. Fun. 
I didn't just love my baby, I enjoyed him. Something that, sadly, doesn't happen every day.

I wasn't only a hurdle to crawl over. 
I was a story-teller, a tickle monster, a zerbert blower. 

I wasn't only a safety patrol. 
I was a kiss giver, a song singer, a patty-caker.

I wasn't only a parental presence.
I was an airplane, a participant, a friend.

Whatever IT was that made today so special, I hope pray IT stays. 

He [Yahweh] gives the barren woman a home,
    making her the joyous mother of children.
Praise the Lord!

Psalm 113:9

What's Happenin?!

I would begin this post with the typical "time got away from me" apology, but I'm not really all that sorry. I've been balancing being a mommy during the day and a wife at night. Tonight, however, my super giving husband is helping some friends with moving errands while my nuglet sleeps, so I am alone to blog.
So many great things have happened since the last time I blogged. For one, I left my wonderful nannying job and became a full-time stay at home mommy! And what a blessing it has been. Looking back at my years of babysitting/nannying, I've come to realize that God was preparing me for this stage my whole life.
Some people might think that being a stay at home mom is a copout or that we're just lazy. To those people I say PSSSH! Whateva, Treva! Staying at home is wonderful and yes it can be relaxing, but it is a challenge as well. It is a challenge to not become complacent and live in your PJs. It's a challenge to turn off the TV, put down the iPhone, and play with your baby; especially when his "playing" consists of crawling in and out of your lap 30 times in 5 minutes. It's a challenge to keep the house clean and to fix dinner every night when honestly you just don't want to. You don't have a boss to give you expectations for your day, it is 100% up to you and that alone is a challenge.
Despite all the challenges and the days I just don't feel up to it, I am so blessed to be given this opportunity to be with my child all day, every day. No one knows him better, I know everything he does during the day, and I know exactly the kind of care he is getting everyday. Not knocking working moms, you are doing what you need to for your family and I applaud you. This is what is best for our family and I am beyond thankful for God's provisions.

When I left my job, I decided right then that I would not be that mom, the one who stays in her PJs, forgets when she showered last, and never leaves the house. We were going to get out and experience Ft. Worth. So we bought zoo passes, Elijah took swim lessons, and now we are involved in Stroller Strides - an interactive exercise program for moms and their babies/children. We are rarely sitting at home, and I am never in my PJs for more than an hour or two in the morning. In the fall, we will be going to MOPS at a church down the road. I'm looking forward to meeting more wonderful moms.

This year Rob decided to take the summer off of school and work full-time. Ironically enough, working 40+ hours a week has been a good break from the usual hustle and bustle of school+work. It has been so great to have him home when he's home and not reading books or writing papers. Elijah and I are lucky to have such a hard working man to take care of us.

As for Elijah, he is a growing, crawling, ball of energy. He is giggly, squeally, and happy! I have never felt so much pride in my life than watching his little world expand. He is such a wonderful baby. We are so blessed by this little creature and are happy to experience life with him.

To put it in simple terms, life for us is sweet. We are happy and satisfied. We are blessed and thankful. God is good, in the valley and on the mountain. Right now, we are really enjoying our mountain.

HE'S HERE...and has been for 5 1/2 months...

On September 14, We were hosting an event for our apartment community when I started having contractions. They started off not that big of a deal and were very far apart. Only a few hours later, my contractions were 3-5 min apart, still not super painful, but we went to the hospital anyway because they were 3-5 min apart. When the nurse checked me, I had not dilated a single cm. She strapped the monitor around my belly, I laid in the bed, and suddenly the contractions stopped. So, we left the hospital.

On September 20th, Rob and I went to my OBGYN's office for (hopefully) our final appointment before meeting our precious baby boy. At that point I was only dilated 2 cm and 75% effaced. My doctor did what's called "sweeping membranes" in hopes of sparking uterine cramping that could turn into contractions and essentially put me into labor.
Almost immediately from the membrane sweeping, I began cramping. Few hours later, I was contracting. Around lunch time, I met a friend at the mall to walk around. My contractions lasted an hour or two of our time at the mall. Once I got home, however, they stopped. I decided to try and get some rest because I knew in my heart, the day I had been longing for was coming SOON. And boy, was I right.

At 5:30 pm on September 20th, my contractions started up again and they didn't stop. We had planned to stay home as long as we possibly could so that I could drink water when I wanted to and try to eat because once at the hospital, it was nothing more than ice chips and mints. We decided to go to the hospital at midnight. When we got there, I was 3 cm dilated but I needed to be 4 cm before the hospital would admit me. Our nurse told us to walk around a few minutes and in an hour she would check me again. When she came back, I was dilated to a four. So, by 1 am, I as admitted to the hospital.

This was it! He was coming! We were thrilled and I was in PAIN!

One detail I left out above that is very important to how the labor process went for me. Elijah was posterior. What does that mean? He was face up, putting his skull right into my pelvis. Ouch! For those of you who have never been pregnant, a posterior baby and a skull into your pelvis gives you TERRIBLE back labor; meaning there is pretty much no comfortable position to get in to help you deal with the pain. Sitting was not an option and laying down made me want to die. Because I couldn't sit down, I had to stand the entire time. If you do the math and add up the beginning of my serious contractions, it was 16.5 hours of labor (approximately 5-6 of those hours I had to be on my feet).

My original birth plan was to go through the entire process without an epidural. By 4 am, I was dilated 8 cm and my legs were completely numb. After discussing with my nurse and Rob, I decided to get the epidural. It was the only way I could have enough strength for the finale. Getting the epidural was TOUGH! For those of you who don't know, you can't move AT ALL when receiving it! By that point my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and felt like Elijah was going to bust through my skin. In order to keep myself still, I had to hunch over and bite the pillow in front of me.

God bless whoever it was the invented the epidural. As soon as it took effect (around 3 min), I was a whole new person. Mrs. Conversationalist! Rob and I were able to get some rest, which was more than necessary.

A few hours later, the nursing shift changed. When our new nurse came in to introduce herself and check on us. She mentioned that his heart rate was lowering with the contractions, which was not normal but apparently we were supposed to already know this was happening. We did not. She brought in the doctor to look at it. Once he was in there, he explained that this was very problematic and might result a caesarean. We immediately broke down in tears.

C-section? That was the absolute last thing we wanted to experience.

The doctor gave us a few options to try in hopes that it would help his heart rate. For most of my time in the bed, I had been either propped up laying straight back or laying on my left side (which, supposedly, is better/easier on baby). Dr. Carrington suggested that I try laying on my right side with my legs propped and pulled close to me. They continued to monitor his heart and we began praying pleading with God to protect our son and for him to be delivered vaginally and with no issues.

As we expected, God was faithful. After hours of monitoring and praying, the Dr. approved going ahead with a vaginal delivery.

Around 8 am, things got serious again. Somewhere around that time, the doctor came in to check out to see how things were coming along. Between 4 am and 8 am, I had only dilated to 9 cm but Elijah was still pretty high in my pelvis. The doctor told all of his nurses that it was probably going to be several more hours before I was ready to push and that he would call them when it was time.

At 9 am, Dr. Carrington came back to check on me again and I was telling him that I was ready to push. I was dilated to a 10 and he was finally starting to come down, but still had a little ways more to go. The doctor called all of his nurses and told them to go ahead and start prepping and at 9:30 we were going to start pushing. When 9:30 rolled around the doctor and all of his nurses came into the room and began preparing for the birth of my son. It felt like they were getting ready in slow motion. I mean really, could y'all get ready any slower?

At that moment, Mama Bear reared her ugly head for the first time in my life. I began telling, nay, demanding that they allow me to push! I was 20 minutes shy of getting Rob in position and pushing without them.

I started pushing around 9:35/9:40. If anyone ever tells you that the pushing is the worst part, they are out of their mind. There was nothing I wanted to do more than to push at that point.

This time Mama Bear was welcomed in that room because at 10:29 am, on Friday, September 21, 2012, I heard the sweetest sound, my son announcing his presence in the world. To describe this moment in words would be pointless because you will never understand until you experience it yourself. Thankfully, my best friend, Aliciana, was able to come that morning and take pictures of Elijah's first moments of life.

Because I cannot find the words to put into writing, I will allow this picture to explain the overwhelming emotions that I experienced in that moment.

Love at first sight