Pep in my step

I'm not exactly sure what has got me in such a great mood today but I have the peppiest pep in my step. Maybe it was the extended God time I had this morning, or maybe it was taking 6 bags of garbage to the trash compactor while successfully walking the dog at the same time, or maybe I'm still reeling from the happiness I feel when I meet with my small group for Bible study. Or maybe it's a little bit of all of it. No matter what is giving me this feeling, I am thankfully praising God for this blessing of a day.
Since moving away from all my friends and family days like today have been a bit rare. Not to say that my time here in MS has been miserable, it has just been different and in need of adjusting.
For the past year I have struggled with feelings of bitterness. Until last year I had never felt an ounce of bitterness in my life. So as you can imagine the taste of it on my tongue was a very unpleasant experience. When Rob and I moved to Mississippi I was determined to not feel bitterness towards the move. Every now and then it creeps up on me but I am fighting it through the power of Jesus Christ! I know that through Him I will learn (and have been learning) to fill my heart with contentment in being here.
God is almost daily reminding me of how great life is here for us. I have an incredible husband who adores me and leads me in the way of the Lord. We have found a church family that has provided us with a loving small group and we are beginning to grow closer. I have been blessed with a class of eleven 4 and 5 year olds who keep me laughing and smiling and I get to play and watch them grow everyday.
I am truly blessed and right now I am praying that I can become a blessing for someone here.

Memories in Music

Every now and then, I believe it is good for the soul to listen to some good music that brings back to you memories of your past; the good and the bad memories. 
One album, in particular, that without fail brings me back to 1st semester sophomore year (my favorite year of college) at UA is One Cell in the Sea by A Fine Frenzy. So many fall memories laced within the lyrics of that album. Memories of sitting by the river with a boy far too old for me, studying together after coming to the realization that we could never be more than friends, uncontrollably laughing when "Almost Lover" came playing through my earbuds and hoping he wouldn't look over to see why I am in hysterics. Memories of late night drive thrus at Arby's and even later late night talks with two amazingly crazy girls, dreaming about future loves and gushing over our Incredible Creator. Memories of driving around after midnight with the windows down and music blaring (typically with my amazing friend Gina and blaring "Embracing Accusations" by Shane and Shane). Memories of sitting in the Rose Tower parking lot fully engulfed in the infamous "If I perish, I perish" conversation with my best guy friend, Whaley. 
I'm not exactly sure why the fall semester of sophomore year brings me so much comfort in the memories, but something about it brings me happiness when I look back to it. Fall semester, specifically, was a time of such spiritual and emotional growth. I remember one night drinking a cup of coffee at around 9, which resulted in about 6 hours of digging into the Word of God and scribbling question after question in my journal. For the first time starving for more of God's truth.
And while it was a time of growth, it was also a time of darkness and loneliness. Much of which I have kept to myself, until now. It sounds funny (and it kind of is) but there were many nights when I would wake myself up sitting up in my bed talking to whoever was visiting me in my dreams. I remember the many journal entries asking God when it would my turn to find happiness with a guy; when would it be my turn to truly, whole heartedly love someone. I don't know what it was about that year that made me feel so ready to meet real love for first time, but I was certainly ready.
Something I realize now, but had no clue at the time, is all that spiritual growth I was experiencing was happening for a reason. All that loneliness I was experiencing was present for a reason. Little did I know in November, when I was asking God "When?", that he was preparing me for when He would say "Now". 
On April 2, I went on my first date with Rob. The most special date I had ever had. He put so much thought into it. And from the very beginning, and for the first time, I had a boy be completely honest with me. There was never any question in my head about his feelings for me. Absolutely no run around. Something I had never witnessed. His intentions were true and truthful. We spoke about God's purpose for our lives. We argued over predestination and agreed that we were to Go to the nations no matter predestination or free-will. 
I knew that this person was a man among the boys. I knew that together we could move mountains. More importantly I knew that it was with him that I wanted to learn what real love meant, even at the risk of another disappointment and heartbreak. Because in this situation the reward was far greater than the risk, and that I knew with all my heart. 
I guess the reason I feel so much comfort from the memories of the fall semester of my sophomore year is that it reminds me that from pain and suffering comes immense growth and strength. From great darkness comes greater light; from loneliness comes community. From the storm comes the rainbow.
Isn't it amazing the memories one album can stir up within us? With all that said, if you've never heard of A Fine Frenzy, go to Amazon.com and start off with their first album One Cell in the Sea. Once you've listened to that one about 1 million times, go back to Amazon.com and purchase their newest album A Bomb in a Birdcage. If that's not your style, figure out what is and make memories to go along with your personal soundtrack. 

Favorite 4-yr-old Quotes

Just to give a little background: most of these quotes will come from one boy in my class who seriously says the funniest things I have ever heard. I'll be sure to keep this one updated as my kids say more hilarious 4-yr-old stuff.

1. While trying to pack up his fish pillow after nap time: "I keep trying to put it in there, but it keeps swimming out."
2. After spilling his water on his pants: "I didn't spill it; it jumped out."
3. After I get onto the class for talking when they've been asked to stop: "I'm not talking"....welp you are now...
4. "Mrs. Caitlin, my eyes won't wake up."
5. "My throat is so hungry."
6. "My mom, my dad, my sister, and me are moving into a big house like yours. We're going to have a clipboard and boxes of markers just like yours." - I'm pretty sure he thinks I live at the school.
7. "Mrs. Caitlin, how do you know?" -kid, "Because I know everything" -me, "You don't know what God looks like..." -same kid. Owned.
8. "I was in heaven when I was a baby" -kid, "I was too. Maybe we were friends there" -me, "Ugh! No, you weren't there!" -kid. Owned. Again.
9. "When I can't find anyone to play with, I just play with myself."

To be continued....